The Problem of Money

Heyo! Its been a while... sorry bout dah. How are you?

I've been doing okey dokey. That means ok in the common language. Basically things have been just that. Ok. Not good, but not really bad either. Just ok. Very stressful. And my head is getting the better of me... again. I need it to step outside my skull for a second so I can smack it upside the head. Although, would it really be smacking it upside the head since my brain would be outside of my head... THESE ARE SERIOUS QUESTIONS OK! GOSH!

Anywho, where was I going with this.. oh! Yeah, that's right. Stress. So one source of this stress (no time to go through them all, it would probably break the blogger post limit. Not sure if blogger even has a limit, but even if it doesn't my list of stressors would still break it) is financial. Currently some major expensive life things are coming up, and these constantly turn my thoughts to money. And when the thoughts turn to money.... literally everything in your life becomes about money. I'm sure you've probably experienced it before. If not I'd wager you'll experience it sometime in your life, even if just for a day... But basically you keep thinking "Ok, so how can I keep getting money to pay for this" and every waking moment you want to devote yourself to making money. You don't feel satisfied with yourself until you're dead tired and can barely move because of all the work you did. Other people experience this right?.... Not just me?... Ok... awkward silence... As is usual... Moving on!

As I said, everything becomes about money. So that means the YouTube videos and blog posts and social media posts and everything I like to do for fun now needs to have a way of earning me extra cash. If you haven't noticed, there ain't exactly any ads on this blog and my YouTube videos ain't exactly raking in the views either... and thus I feel frustrated and angry whenever I do these things I used to be able to do for fun. It's extremely frustrating! There's no passion in any of it. It's all about "Ok, what is going to get the most views" or "Ok, what will people like the best?" And that's the other thing. It's no longer for me. Everything I make is now for everyone else. Now I always wanted it to be that way, just to clarify. I want people to see my work and enjoy it. But what I don't want is to be sacrificing the fun to make something I hate to gain views. I guess it doesn't really matter though since I never get any views anyway, so...

So yeah! Basically just frustrated. And tired. And stressed. But hey! We'll be ok! Oh, and now I need to give the whole spiel about this whole blog thingy. Yeah I'm basically just posting whatever here. I know I started out saying I was going to write these great stories and all. I will probably still do that, but there will more than likely be posts like this too. It's just fun to talk. To a computer screen and then have random strangers and some people I know read it... yay? Anyway! Yeah, I'm going to try to post here more often MAYBE! I try not to make promises like that because then something always happens... So I hope you're all doing well. Sorry about the rant. That's all it was by the way, just a rant of frustration and anger. I'm really been doing pretty good more often recently, this was just a burst of anger and frustration splattered on a blog page. Welp! I will be sure to see you all again soon. Byyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!