The Cheerio Story

WARNING: Great stupidity ahead. Side effects may include groans and headaches.

Once upon a time, there was a lonely plain cheerio. Now, he was very very lonely, so to combat his sad feelings, he decided to go online and join Cheerio Mingle in hopes to find the girl cherio of his dreams. He began messaging, and what do you know, pretty soon he had a girl who he was regularly chatting with. He thought it was time to finally meet her. So, he sent her a message asking her if she would like to go bowling. Quickly, the girl cheerio replied

"No! You're a plain cheerio! I'm a strawberry cheerio, I can't be seen out in public with you!"

Saddened but not loosing hope, the guy cheerio responded

"If I were to become a Strawberry cheerio, would you go out with me?"

The girl then responded

"Of course I would"

So the guy cheerio worked and worked and worked for a whole year to become half a Strawberry cheerio. Hoping that maybe she would be content with him being only half a Strawberry cheerio, he asked the girl cheerio if she would go out with him. Unfortunately, she replied that she could only go out with him once he had become a full Strawberry cheerio. So he worked and worked and worked for another year to become a full Strawberry cheerio. He then sent a message to the girl.

"I'm now a Strawberry cheerio. Will you go out with me?"

She then replied

"No! I'm a chocolate cheerio now, I can't be seen in public with a Strawberry cheerio!"

The guy cheerio then asked

"If I were to become a chocolate cheerio, then would you go out with me?"

"Of course I would" she replied.

And so he worked and worked and worked for four years to become half a chocolate cheerio. Remembering that she would only be content with him being a full chocolate cheerio, he decided to work and work and work and work for six years to become a full chocolate cheerio. He then sent the girl cheerio a message.

"I am now a full chocolate cheerio. Will you go out with me?"

"No!" She replied. "I'm a blueberry cheerio, and I can't be seen in public with a chocolate cheerio?"

Saddened but yet again not losing hope, the guy cheerio asked

"If I were to become a full blueberry cheerio, would you go out with me?"

"Of course I would" she replied.

And thus he worked and worked and worked and worked for twenty years to become one fourth of a blueberry cheerio. He knew this could never be good enough for her, and so he worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked for eighty nine years to become a full blueberry cheerio. Hopeful, he sent a message to the girl cheerio.

"I've become a full blueberry cheerio. Will you go out with me?"

"No!" She replied, "I'm a honey nut cheerio, and I can't be seen out in public with a blueberry cheerio!"

By now, the guy cheerio had figured out the routine. And so he asked

"If I were to become a honey nut cheerio, then would you go out with me?"

"Yes, I would" she replied.

And so he worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked for three hundred years to become one fourth of a honey nut cheerio. He knew this would never do, and so he worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked for nine thousand years to become a full honey nut cheerio. (Hey, honey nut cheerios is an exclusive club, they don't just let any old cheerio into the club).

Excited and hopeful, he messaged the girl cheerio yet again.

"I am now a full honey nut cheerio. Would you like to go bowling with me?'"

And she replied

"Sure"

A simple word, sure, but it made the guy cheerio so extremely excited. He had worked for this for years and he could not wait to finally see her.

The two arrived at the bowling alley and sat down. The girl cheerio then turned to the guy cheerio and said

"I'm thirsty. Do you think you could go get us some punch?"

"Yeah, I could do that" said the guy cheerio.

He then proceded to walk over to the multiple lines for drinks. He could not see what was at the front of each line, so he jumped in one and hoped for the best. He waited and waited and waited for three hundred years. When he got to the end, he asked the person there what they were selling. They told him it was Doctor Pepper, not punch. Distressed, the guy cheerio jumped into the next line.

He waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited for one thousand years to get to the end of the line. When he finally reached the end, he asked the person there what they were selling. He told them they were selling sprite. The guy cheerio was starting to get a little frustrated now, but there was still one more line and he thought he might as well try that.

And so he jumped in that line and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited for ten thousand years until he finally reached the end of the line. At the end of the line he asked what they were selling. They told him they were selling orange soda. Angered, he asked the person at the end of the line

"Dude! Where's the punch line?"

He responded

"There is no punch line"

Sorry.